25 failsafe rules for dads raising daughters

by gurumommy on July 17, 2012

in from the desk of

Over at The Good Men Project, Marcus Williams and Joanna Schroeder teamed up to write,’25 Failsafe Rules for Dads Raising Daughters’(*not really!).  They decided that in order to write the rules: “We agreed on many of these rules, though some only made it in when the other one wasn’t looking. For the tl;dr [too long, didn't read] demographic, here’s the list in a nutshell:

*    Joanna says dads should be girly with their daughters.
*    Marcus says dads should be manly with their daughters.
*    It’s okay to be both.

  1. Tell her she’s pretty, but tell her other good things about herself more.
  2. Teach her that handymen don’t have to be men.
Let her play in the mud.
  4. Remember that the way you talk about and treat women will have a lasting impact.
  5. Teach her the correct names for her genitals, and use them matter-of-factly.
  6. Indulge her imagination.
  7. Cry when the family pet dies.
  8. Teach her honesty and integrity in relationships by demonstrating them in yours.
  9. Read her books with great heroes — both boy and girl heroes.
  10. Teach her that she has power over her own body and sexuality.
  11. Teach her about male sexuality without fear-mongering.
  12. Share music with each other.
  13. Dress like a princess if she asks you to … And let her dress like a Power Ranger if she wants.
  14. Go with her to the nail salon and each of you get a pedicure.
  15. Include her in your favorite hobbies.
  16. Let her put on shows for you. Then put on a silly show for her.
  17. Let her choose any color she wants for one wall in her room.
  18. Roughhouse with her.
  19. Inspire her with women role models who excel in traditionally male-dominated fields or activities.
  20. Don’t shame her for what she wants to wear — but exercise the power to modify.
  21. Look her in the eyes and have a real conversation at least once every single day that you’re together.
  22. As she gets older, tell her the truth about drugs. Don’t use scare tactics, be honest.
  23. Teach her that “No” means “No”, for both herself and others.
  24. Allow her to be girly if that’s her thing, but don’t force her to be if she’s not.
  25. If she’s still little enough, hold her until she falls asleep sometimes.
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