How to Land Your Kid in Therapy

by gurumommy on June 21, 2011

in from the desk of

This article written by Lori Gottlieb in The Atlantic about ‘why the obsession with our kids’ happiness may be dooming them to unhappy adulthoods’.  Lori, a therapist & mother writes ‘the good news…. was that you didn’t have to be a perfect mother to raise a well-adjusted kid. You just had to be, a “good-enough mother.”

I was also relieved to learn that we’d moved beyond the concept of the “schizophrenogenic mother,” who’s solely responsible for making her kid crazy. (The modern literature acknowledges that genetics—not to mention fathers—play a role in determining mental health.) Still, in everything we studied—from John Bowlby’s “attachment theory” to Harry Harlow’s monkeys, who clung desperately to cloth dummies when separated from their mothers—the research was clear: fail to “mirror” your children, or miss their “cues,” or lavish too little affection on them, and a few decades later, if they had the funds and a referral, they would likely end up in one of our psychotherapy offices, on the couch next to a box of tissues, recounting the time Mom did this and Dad didn’t do that, for 50 minutes weekly, sometimes for years.


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